domesticated pets

i'm alone for the weekend and it's -22 degrees and i have every intention of doing whatever i please for the next 48 hours. as long as whatever i please doesn't require leaving the house, because i just brought the dog out and i could instantly feel the snot freeze in my nose ( a feeling i'm actually rather fond of) and my left eye kind of started watering and subsequently froze shut. the frozen left eye did a job on my depth perception and as i leaned over to pick up dog crap (i know...glamorous! and i get to do it at least 3 times a day!) i lost my balance and fell forward and planted my fist in...a pile of dog feces. god bless minnesota and domesticated pets.