i'm ready to hit the road


and spend my days under blue skies



...even if only in my mind

the shift

close one eye and with the other eye focus on an object in front of you. now switch eyes. do you notice how the object appears to move a few inches...and even slightly change color?

this is something i've done since childhood...i guess i'm easily entertained. but today i realized this little game could serve as a great metaphor for life. one small shift in thinking or seeing can completely change how you perceive things. it takes both eyes (different viewpoints) to grasp what is reality.

i've been working towards a shift of my consciousness. constantly opening one metaphorical eye...and then the other.

lunar eclipse

tonight.
check it out.
it will happen between 7:43p.m. and 11:09p.m.

oprah

okay,okay...i'm a sucker for Oprah and yes...i read all her book club books. i'm really excited to read the latest book a new earth by Eckhart Tolle. it sounds pretty incredible, i encourage you to look into it and read it, i'd love to discuss it here with you.

in check

it's a fine balancing act for me...if i'm not very busy i lean towards being lazy and unhealthy and if i'm too busy i tend to be frantic, easily stressed and unhealthy. as i walk on this tight-rope of life, i'm realizing that with age comes wisdom. i've learned so much, so many tools to keep myself in check...to keep my life in balance...and when i stray and loose balance i find myself being able to reel myself back in. i feel sound today.

grounded.

awake.

i want to be able to remember this feeling of calm as i head forward into the coming months where my life will be a bit more occupied...

doula work

it's all happening, it's all falling into place. opportunities surrounding my work as a doula are popping up left and right and i can't believe that i can call this my job. let me tell you...it does not seem like work to assist a woman with her childbirth. it seems like the natural order of things. women are meant to support women...especially in times of childbirth. in other cultures the term "post-partum depression" doesn't even exist. these women can't understand that anything but joy could come from childbirth in the weeks and months following...but that's because they have a support system unlike anything we've see here in the good ol' u.s.a. did you know that women in many cultures get to enjoy a "laying in" period? six-eight weeks of laying in bed with your newborn...not to be expected to do anything except bond with your baby. i am thrilled that i will be working towards a culture where women are supported exponentially and are giving birth on their own terms...whatever those terms may be...

an attitude of gratitude

this morning i awoke with an attitude of gratitude. here are some things i'm thankful for:

christopher
my dog ruby
lake superior
dangly earrings
interior brick walls
kombucha
aveda products
being present at esmae's birth
my hilarious parents
blogs
rowing machines
my job at northern waters smokehaus
kate
nag champa
candles
snow
my truck
not having a "career"
my intuition
my humor
fruit smoothies
doula work
positive people
seaglass
acrylic paints
neti pots
the dalai lama
rumi
potted plants
sunrises

and that means i've almost made it

i'm proud of myself. this is the first winter since i've moved back to minnesota (3years) that i haven't fallen into a dark lonely winter slump. the past few winters have been rough...being lazy, not getting outdoors enough, watching way too much t.v., eating ridiculous amounts of comfort food, falling out of sorts in my social life, too much beer, feeling depressed etc, etc. i don't know what it is about this winter, but i feel really great. i've been very active and my mood has been great. perhaps i'm getting used to the 6 months of winter us duluthians have to live through, maybe i'm better prepared to not fall into bad habits. this morning i came to the realization that it's already february...and in a month it will be march and march means spring and that means i've almost made it and i still resemble the april i want to be...and that is a huge accomplishment for me.

a salute

i can't stop thinking about mac n' cheese. a friend made me some for lunch the other day and it was so sublime. since then, i have made it several times. i have even made trips to the grocery store solely to buy it.

every evening when i'm thinking about what to make for dinner, little blue and yellow boxes swirl around my head whispering "you know you want it" and i do...i do want it.

my favorite breakfast food you ask? re-heated mac n' cheese.

i don't know what it is about the stuff...i understand that it's not really that good. maybe it brings back memories of childhood? maybe they lace it with some sort of drug that keeps you coming back for more?

well...the point of this post is this: i'm officially changing my favorite food from sandwiches to mac n' cheese. done.